So… on two different days, in two completely different parks, I saw two entirely different sets of people… sword fighting. I am not even joking a little. The first one was right after I had seen the tree growing out of the car, I had to rub my eyes to make sure I wasn’t dreaming, but I did in fact see two grown men dressed in full Medieval armor fighting with swords. They had lion-crested chest plates, chain mail, and huge metal swords. They skirted around in circles, trying to catch the other one of guard and I tried not to laugh. I was secretly hoping I had just stumbled upon a Monty Python film. Since I only saw this in passing, I know considerably less about their event than I do about the next. Which was ridiculous.
The second encounter was less dramatic in appearance, but a hundred times more amusing to me. I was bored and hot, trying to figure out if I wanted to read or write or listen to music while I waited for Dan near the beach. I was contemplating getting back on my bike, when I decided to people watch instead. Across the park I noticed a tall, younger guy walking with a short, stocky girl; both in their early 20’s and I could tell from their awkward swagger they were kind of geeky. But apparently they didn’t embarrass easy because the next thing I saw was the sunlight shooting of their 4 ft. metal swords. I had brought my book to the park, they brought swords.
- Seriously.
I tried not to stare when they started to battle, but as I looked around, I was relieved to find that I was not the only person that didn’t get the memo “Sword Fighting is the New Black.” The girl was obviously less of a weaponed type “athlete” but I noted that what she lacked in skill, she made up for in speed. I think he fake killed her 80 times to her 1, but nonetheless, I could help but watch them. A group of drunkards behind me kept yelling “Finish him! Kill him!” which I also found slightly amusing. I turned away for a second and when I looked back they had put their swords away… BECAUSE THEY WERE FIGHTING WITH DAGGERS! Seriously.
They moved all around the park, zigging and zagging between beach blankets and boccie games. The boozers loved this. They were gouging and jabbing at each other right in front of them; he even had a dagger tucked into the back of his shorts, which I thought might be cheating. The taunts continued when the guy had flipped the girl on to the ground, where they rolled around for another 5 minutes before she “cut his jugular” to win. The wino’s were screaming with joy! The girl had won the battle, they hugged and both walked around to find the missing weapons they’d lost along the way. And as fast as a slashing sword, they walked off into the sunset.
I hope this doesn’t turn into some sort of exercise craze like Zumba or yoga in the park. I’d like to think of sword fighting as just one of those things that may pop up when I am bored out of my mind, not wanting to read, and waiting with my bike.
Bicycle Whisperer 